The Women Who ate the Ground
(Note: I don't remember what I ate that made me write this story. Kinda crazy and amateurish I should say. ;P)
The fire of the sunset sliced through the pale blue sky of the afternoon. The end of the day has emerged. Loleng lights the candles of her house in the lonely unlit town of Humusan. The windows of their house she shut close to protect them from the biting cold of the evening and the soft pinch of the mosquitoes. She went straight to the crying kitchen. Loleng just finished an ordinary day and is having just an ordinary night.
In the kitchen is Karidad, Loleng’s elder sister, a thirty-something old maid with nothing to do but notice things that are not in order. “What happened with you today? You look so…usual?!”
“Oh nothing…I just had to be rewarded for all the bad things that I have done in the factory today. They just don’t seem to notice my good side…”
“And let me hear this list of things that is making you oh so gloomy,” Karidad replied sarcastically. There was a long pause. After Loleng satisfied herself playing with the helm of her recently-stitched blouse, and before Karidad start to open her mouth wide again ready to demand at her face, she finally gets to answer and good-naturedly.
“They said that I was clumsy, good-for-nothing, better off in the dump sites, a…a…a misfit!”
“And what else,” Karidad said as a matter-of-factly.
“And the other usual things that you already know.”
“And so what’s new? I mean you always get the same comments everyday from your boss…they are just re-phrased sometimes. You should be used to this already! My God, do I always have to listen to this darn list of ugly ways a person can call a person?”
“You don’t seem to care.”
“I do care! But I can’t always comfort you and assure you that everything is going to be all right because everything is not going right. You have to do something about these things they complain about you…and now!”
“And what about you? When are you getting a job? I can’t always be the one to always work for the two of us, can I? You blame me for our loss but you yourself do not do anything about it.”
Three years after that ordinary night, on the same day, time and circumstance, Loleng and Karidad are again in the same spot in the sala. Still talking of the same thing.
“Why can’t you learn to be more careful? You always…”
“Here we go again, Karidad. What do you want me to say next, ‘Why can’t you get a job of your own so you can help me bring ourselves out of this muck?’”
Loleng’s words rang in Karidad’s head. She started seeing the furniture in the room spinning and spinning. Her lips felt pale and tears wanted to fall but they can’t…she can’t—she won’t allow it. She stood up from her seat in the living room and pounded her feet heavily on the floor as if to wake the rest of herself to face a full-body mirror left for them by their mother. She placed her hands to cover her face and started sobbing. Her hands become wet with tears she had always kept in her heart. Loleng could not do anything. She stayed in her seat amazed. She never saw her elder sister burst out like that before. A long while has passed before she could actually say a word…as long as Karidad’s trying.
“I…I…I am sorry Karidad. You were supposed to be used to me already…”
Gathering up her last sob, she finally spoke, “Loleng, it is my fault that we are in such a wreck of house. I have never seen myself for a long time…at least not in this way. It is just so hard to swallow your own words after you discover the same goes to you. It is so hard to list down all the things that is wrong with one person…life is hard. It is hard to live. It is hard to get the money. It is hard to look good. It is hard to be good. It is double hard to accept who we really are. Life is just so hard.”
Loleng could not understand why Karidad was saying those words to her. Karidad is probably the person who will not eat breakfast without having to look at herself for a second time in the mirror. But one thing was clear for her. “Karidad, I have known that for a long time. And I am actually glad that I always get the same comments year after year. I have learned to accept the truth. I have learned that life is hard and that I will forever complain about this imperfect world…Us eating this imperfect ground…”
a. t. d.
31 October 2001
The fire of the sunset sliced through the pale blue sky of the afternoon. The end of the day has emerged. Loleng lights the candles of her house in the lonely unlit town of Humusan. The windows of their house she shut close to protect them from the biting cold of the evening and the soft pinch of the mosquitoes. She went straight to the crying kitchen. Loleng just finished an ordinary day and is having just an ordinary night.
In the kitchen is Karidad, Loleng’s elder sister, a thirty-something old maid with nothing to do but notice things that are not in order. “What happened with you today? You look so…usual?!”
“Oh nothing…I just had to be rewarded for all the bad things that I have done in the factory today. They just don’t seem to notice my good side…”
“And let me hear this list of things that is making you oh so gloomy,” Karidad replied sarcastically. There was a long pause. After Loleng satisfied herself playing with the helm of her recently-stitched blouse, and before Karidad start to open her mouth wide again ready to demand at her face, she finally gets to answer and good-naturedly.
“They said that I was clumsy, good-for-nothing, better off in the dump sites, a…a…a misfit!”
“And what else,” Karidad said as a matter-of-factly.
“And the other usual things that you already know.”
“And so what’s new? I mean you always get the same comments everyday from your boss…they are just re-phrased sometimes. You should be used to this already! My God, do I always have to listen to this darn list of ugly ways a person can call a person?”
“You don’t seem to care.”
“I do care! But I can’t always comfort you and assure you that everything is going to be all right because everything is not going right. You have to do something about these things they complain about you…and now!”
“And what about you? When are you getting a job? I can’t always be the one to always work for the two of us, can I? You blame me for our loss but you yourself do not do anything about it.”
Three years after that ordinary night, on the same day, time and circumstance, Loleng and Karidad are again in the same spot in the sala. Still talking of the same thing.
“Why can’t you learn to be more careful? You always…”
“Here we go again, Karidad. What do you want me to say next, ‘Why can’t you get a job of your own so you can help me bring ourselves out of this muck?’”
Loleng’s words rang in Karidad’s head. She started seeing the furniture in the room spinning and spinning. Her lips felt pale and tears wanted to fall but they can’t…she can’t—she won’t allow it. She stood up from her seat in the living room and pounded her feet heavily on the floor as if to wake the rest of herself to face a full-body mirror left for them by their mother. She placed her hands to cover her face and started sobbing. Her hands become wet with tears she had always kept in her heart. Loleng could not do anything. She stayed in her seat amazed. She never saw her elder sister burst out like that before. A long while has passed before she could actually say a word…as long as Karidad’s trying.
“I…I…I am sorry Karidad. You were supposed to be used to me already…”
Gathering up her last sob, she finally spoke, “Loleng, it is my fault that we are in such a wreck of house. I have never seen myself for a long time…at least not in this way. It is just so hard to swallow your own words after you discover the same goes to you. It is so hard to list down all the things that is wrong with one person…life is hard. It is hard to live. It is hard to get the money. It is hard to look good. It is hard to be good. It is double hard to accept who we really are. Life is just so hard.”
Loleng could not understand why Karidad was saying those words to her. Karidad is probably the person who will not eat breakfast without having to look at herself for a second time in the mirror. But one thing was clear for her. “Karidad, I have known that for a long time. And I am actually glad that I always get the same comments year after year. I have learned to accept the truth. I have learned that life is hard and that I will forever complain about this imperfect world…Us eating this imperfect ground…”
a. t. d.
31 October 2001
posted by tranquillity | 3:22 AM
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